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Sundowning

by Boxspring

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ehelvz
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ehelvz I really identify with this song, and it's just a great piece of songwriting! Favorite track: Scribble.
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1.
Everything I see seems a little more unclean, and I don’t know what I need just to maintain these routines. There’s a mountain under me and an earthquake I can’t see, but you make me want to be someone better.
2.
Scribble 04:42
It’s killing me to stay at home and think away the week. I cut my gums and rot my teeth. I wish I was asleep. The Friday heat, it gets to me and melts the world I see. It melts away at me. I’m all alone. I sit and wait for something, I don’t know, and scribble out my days. I’m all alone. I’m trying too, cuz giving up is just as hard to do. I’ll keep on breathing if it kills me. I will leave it up to you. And if I felt this way for months I’d throw my phone out on the lawn and wait for you to call. I’m all alone. I sit and wait for something, I don’t know, and scribble out my days. I’m all alone. Leave me with my mistakes and tie me up to pass the days. Stuck in this empty space, and moving on is all the same. Waiting still and there’s nothing here. Nothing for me here. I’m all alone. I sit and wait for something, I don’t know, and scribble out my days. I’m all alone.
3.
DMV 02:24
I feel sick to my stomach and I don't wanna feel bad. I've got bugs in my brain and I don't feel happy or sad. And I don't wanna go outside. I wanna stay indoors and waste my time and I don't wanna be... I don't wanna be... I feel rough in my fingers and I feel rough in my toes. I still hope for some memories and nowadays anything goes. I wait in line at the DMV. I see my friends on the TV screen, and I don't wanna be me. I don't wanna be me. Remind me that it could be worse and that I could be dead. And even all the skulls below would rather be in bed. I feel drowsy and dirty and I don't wanna feel that. I feel crowded in currency, it throws more weight on my back. I throw myself in a moving van. I see my friends lying out to tan, and I don't wanna be me. I don't wanna be me.
4.
I feel you pulling away. I don’t blame you, but I have to stay. Stay with myself for myself, for my mom, and anyone else who can’t get on without me. But you’ll be alright. Turn off your phone, we’ll talk whenever we talk. I wish I could give you whatever you want. Be who you want, who I want, but instead I’m using up luck. I know I’m not what you need. But you’ll be alright. I feel you pulling away, I want to smile but it’s harder today. I want to be something more than a burden, something more than a weight that’s hanging onto your arm. I feel you pulling away.
5.
xDRUGx 01:12
I don’t need a crutch. It’s still not enough. I don’t need a drug to leave me dry and dumb. Poison won’t help me, so keep it to yourself. Poison won’t help me, so drink yourself to death.
6.
Dwell 03:28
Dwell in a hidden place, in a quiet place, in me. Keep all the hurricanes and the spider eggs down deep. There is nothing in me you can’t find in somebody else, nothing you couldn’t replace. So special or not, I will be a place you can dwell. Pray with my angry fists folded at the wrist, to you. Stare into the abyss. Think of leaving it, I do. There is nothing in me you can’t find in somebody else, nothing you couldn’t replace. So special or not, I will be a place you can dwell. I don’t want to forget this feeling. I don’t want to forget.
7.
Either kill each other or get along. I don’t care, so here’s a song.
8.
Take those pictures down and dust them off, they’re right back on the shelf. You look younger and you look like you were someone else. Memories aren’t cheap and neither is my rent or all my dreams. Live it up while I’m still stuck in all the in between. I’m clean, but I’m broke And I’m living selfishly. But money never meant that much to me. Take those medals down and dust them off. They’re rusting so quickly. Life moves fast when you’re not living how you want to be. Sketchy parking lot, no windows, no good views like on TV. Life looks great for all the people you would rather be. I’m clean, but it’s useless. No one cares if I don’t drink, but nothing else is working out for me. Where the payoff, can I cash in all my chips? That’ll make up for the years I wanted this. Oh right, that’s not how it works. The biggest lie I’ve ever heard It’s me, I’m not who I want to be. Take those pictures down and dust them off, they’re right back on the shelf.
9.
I don’t want to be here anymore, so I lie flat down on the floor and I think about myself. I don’t want to go hell. I want… Well, I don’t know what I want. I don’t want to be here anymore. Tired of being broken and so bored. So I think about myself, leave my bible on the shelf. I want… Well, I don’t know what I want. I don’t want to be here anymore. There’s nothing here I’m looking for. So I think about myself, cuz I hate everyone else. I want… Well, I don’t know what I want.
10.
Hard times in the city. Those times are the worst. Hard times in the city, doesn’t matter if you’re second or first. I don’t want to be anything but you. I know it’s true. Hard times in the city. Those times really hurt. Robbed blind in the city. Take my money and put me in the dirt. I don’t want to be anything but you. I know it’s true.
11.
Ctrl+Alt+Del 04:26
Slowly, that’s how I go. Please don’t let me walk away. It’s all that I can do. Lonely, that’s how I go. Lonely, stuck in circles. Please don’t let me walk away. It’s all that I can do. “It’s somewhere out there.” Just tell me the things I want to hear.
12.
Nobody likes you Nobody likes you Nobody likes you Or maybe they do. Nobody likes you Nobody likes you Nobody likes you Like you want them to. Save some face. Smile hard. Leave your conscience in the yard. Look at life, Make yours more. Desperate masses at your door. Nobody likes you Nobody likes you Nobody likes you Like you want them to.
13.
Yeah 02:02
Not quite right and not on time. Make your peace and I’ll make mine, or change my own mind. Yeah. Hard to see and hard to know what goes on and what’s for show. So break your own home. Yeah.
14.
Be the one who helps me see, I prefer to cry and bleed. Nothing's right, nothing's calm here. Fighting nights, pity's worst fear. So just leave. Whatever helps you sleep. Breathe, It's easy without me. Without me. Years and still I'm almost fine. One too many left in line. Nothing's right, the sun is slow here. No more shine, the light is unclear. So just leave. Whatever helps you sleep. Breathe, It's easy without me. I'm tying off an open wound, a tourniquet in place of you. I'm tying off an open wound. So just leave. Whatever helps you sleep. Breathe, It's easy without me.

credits

released September 27, 2019

Album recorded and mixed by Mitchell Layton in his pathetically small bedroom in Los Angeles, California.

Mastered by Steven Layton in his pathetically small bedroom in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Album art is an original painting by Mitchell Layton

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Boxspring Los Angeles, California

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